I was awake when I got home this morning after a night out with my father. I broke my dry January spell in style and lots of calorific beer was consumed.
I did my usual early hours of the morning thing of looking to see if my ex partner was online and she hadn’t been for a few hours. Yet up she popped at 2.35am as Online, to change her photo briefly to her holding a dog or baby. Her face looked atrocious, and clearly she realised it, because the photo quickly turned back to her previous one.
I wondered if she was with someone else; and the memories of the previous relationship and gut feelings of insecurity and distrust briefly reared before being pushed down.
I knew that when she chose to come back into my life after several weeks of no contact, there would be a test of my resolve. Mostly just another test from the universe to see if I can break the habit of seeing her come on and offline. Her last seen on WhatsApp.
Assigning her to the category of friendship makes it easier.
Understanding that us breaking up leaves her free to do whatever she wants as well as myself.
Really it’s none of my concern yet I still feel protective of someone that hurt me. After the things that happened it led me on a new path of self discovery, to understand why this happened to me.
As it happens to many others as well though I hardly feel like I’m in singular company.
I will delete the conversation with her shortly, as that has been a reasonable coping strategy I previously employed.
I have been listening to YouTube videos this morning, and I think I like the idea of the Warrior path soon. So when I get paid, I’m going to start down that path. Mostly in the form of reading war books, going to the gym, and just generally becoming stronger.
Zig Ziglar and Todd V quote is fresh in my mind regarding the necessity of being a closer in Sales and relationships. I have decided to link it at the bottom of the page if you may find it useful as I did.
You owe it to the person to be the best you can be. I feel that power today.
The renewed interest in PUA has also placated my initial resurgent interest in the universal path / spirituality. Although interested in the spiritual, I feel like by becoming a person who does things and effects change, I will receive results better that way. Then following a supposed path. And in any case, the idea that I’m following a path is still able to be followed if I begin to effect change by my actions, for who is to say that was not my supposed path instead?
The path of the Doing person.
The Journey 