Recovering from sickness always lasts longer because we do self destructive things. Lying around the house watching the documentary Saturday afternoon about Jimmy Iovine and Dr Dre called the Defiant ones on Netflix, should have been the necessary downtime I needed. I’ve become increasingly guarded with my time now as my focus changes in life from the outer to the inner and I’m quite conscious of when it’s being taken. But i haven’t changed that much yet. Change can happen all at once, or it can be spread out over a longer period. This is why I still believe my father when he says let’s go for food, and have a few drinks and it becomes a night out and me getting home at 4am.
But that has costs in both the body and socially. This lifestyle that Dad is changing to be free, unaccountable and have fun always can be done sober and without the damage to health. We missed the opportunity to see family because I felt sick all day and he didn’t wake up until after 6pm yesterday. Often my father will say that he wishes he has more money and that why don’t we have a good idea working as a family business. Perhaps we could have something but I can see that alcohol is the worst mix in this. It took me 5 days to get back to normal and in a frame of mind that I could focus and study last week after a particularly heavy session on Monday. That motivation is what pushes me forward and holds you in place when you need it. With the alcohol there is no pushing power. And that’s what you need to succeed.
Talking of success, the knock on effect of me using social media again is the pining for the attractive girl in Jersey, which resulted in me messaging her. Naturally no response occurs as usual, with the exact thought being never try to be yourself unless you’re a ripped motherfucker with a million in the bank. So I’m back to building the empire and focusing on myself.
A lot of this is about the value we find ourselves at and how we sell ourselves. I think I’m better then her because she’s just one person In a sea of millions and she’s not particularly special over anyone else but she has a few things I like and would like to get to know her better on that basis. I don’t even appear on her radar because I have less then 200 people that followers, real genuine people who are family and friends I have curated because I want real life and trust in my social platform, whereas she is chasing validation. I’m buried in her sea of thousands of watchers. To cut through the noise we have to be exceptional, which is what I intend to be.
Ive spent most of my life at that lower level of value, because I didn’t know how to sell myself properly but I still have a close circle of friends and family who are all good people. So clearly I’ve got the right things correct. Somethings still need to be fixed though.
I’m off to tinker with that.
Have a good week!
The Journey 